The pain reflected in this song ain't even half of what I'm feeling inside ...

Top Ten Tuesday Things:

1) I have been listening to "The Emancipation of Mimi" obsessively for like two weeks straight. I need an intervention. This is even worse than my ghetto slang obsession. Fo reals.

I can't sleep at night when you are on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio
Singing to me ... 'If you think you're lonely now'
Wait a minute, this is too deep, too deep
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial, trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface ... I only think of you...

2) But just the same, I hope Mariah wins some stuff tomorrow night at the Grammy Awards. I know ya'll. I know she's probably buckwild crazy, the kind of crazy that wears a bra on her head. But that is why I love her. And for people who say she's fat? PUT A SNICKERS WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE.

3) Speaking of fat. We're leaving for Paris in like, what? Six weeks? And you know... Three of these kids belong together, three of these kids are kind of the same. But one of these kids is doing her own thing ...now it's time to play our game...it's time to play our game!

The moral of this story is: I really have to find some larger friends. I love these skinny ladies, and it's great because I'm guaranteed not to have a 7-foot-tall smelly seatmate on the airplane, but honestly ya'll. My left boob is bigger than some of my friends.

4) Speaking of boobs! Not really. Psyche! But I did read this interesting piece on a blog I love all about this thing called Healthism, which is basically when normal people go crazy with the health stuff. That is so me! Sometimes I am just over the edge. Right now is one of those times. I'm only eating organic stuff when possible and I'm taking a bazillion vitamins and ... I'm maybe a little bizonkers about it.

But it makes me feel better about myself, and I get this feeling of control from it, like ... although I watched that Oprah all about the Bird Flu, and terrorists are probably about to smuggle nukes into Long Beach, and also no one knows why my cat keeps getting sick, and there's a strange smell in the breakroom ... I AM TAKING MY OMEGA 3 SUPPLEMENTS!! This way to crazytown. Population: me.

5) My email is fixed!! For now, anyway. In the past two months, my email has worked maybe ten days. But a very nice man named Arden spent hours (hours!) on the problem and called me back with a resolution and I wanted to hug him through the phone. Note to self: In the future, when dating, choose men who can help you with computer things. They will be well-hugged.

6) I don't just need a musical intervention, I need a Fashion Emergency, too. Since I got sick I've been real... pasty. White. The phrase "death on a cracker" comes to mind. So I thought I needed... a little color. Today I am wearing a loud, striped polyester blend shirt with a glitter thread in it. I dug this out of my closet and am actually wearing it to work. Ya'll. I. Am. So. Tacky. In fact, I'm a walking Glamour magazine "Don't." Also... notice how weird a person's head and arms can look in a poorly taken picture. Is it me? Or is it the medication talking?

Thought this was a good idea. Blame CODEINE.

Seriously. My arms? Are actually normal-length.

I am, however, that pale.

My parents are looking at that picture right now where my arms look two inches long and making a joke about another family member of mine who has much-remarked-upon short arms. (We're cruel. But we're funny.)

What number am I on?

7) Since I only had two balls of the Lana Grossa yarn in that olive-green color, I decided to take ya'lls advice, rip the little bit I'd knitted and start fresh with less stitches. And bigger needles -- now I'm using size 13 Lantern Moon purty needles and I'm doing three knit stitches on each edge. I like it, and once it's done I plan to block the heck out of it. Mmmm. Blocking. Anyway. Pictures tomorrow. I may have broken the camera with that shirt.

8) Also, stuff is on fire again in Southern California. I do not remember a string of red-flag fire warnings in the first week of February, but the globe... it is a'warming.

9) One day I will make a Top Ten list that reaches ten. Today is not that day.

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