Product review: Feliway diffuser

 Awhile back, I purchased a Feliway diffuser for the cats (specifically, Abby). Its claim is that it contains pheromones to calm your cats and prevent them from spraying, whining incessantly and possibly, hanging from the ceiling fan meowing the lyrics to “Cat Scratch Fever.”

At the time, Abby was 100% nocturnal, and Jason and I were desperate for sleep. (Note: by “desperate,” I mean we were each clinging tightly to our last shred of sanity as we gently bobbed in The Sea of Madness.) Abby’s nightly routine at the time involved the following activities, usually performed simultaneously:

- Jumping on the bed
- Jumping on the headboard
- Jumping on my exposed, tender face
- Pawing at the blankets near my head
- Pawing at my head
- Smacking her lips
- Whining
- Batting the blinds
- Licking the windows
- Licking the blankets
- Licking herself

It got to the point that whenever I saw Abby sleeping during the day, I’d go over to her and shake her awake, saying, “No! You sleep when WE sleep.”

Then we purchased the Feliway diffuser and a few days later … peace. Peace and quiet, peace of mind. We attributed our good fortune to happenstance, the change in weather and our newfound ability to function solely without REM activity.

Our latest diffuser ran out a week ago. I wasn’t going to order any more because I still wasn’t convinced it was the reason for Abby’s positive nighttime behavior.

But for six nights in a row, I have lain awake cringing at the sounds of Abby tak tak tak-ing her way across the hardwood floor. I have endured the resulting licking and jumping and constant.moving.around.that.never.ends.EVER.

My left shoulder is messed up from always having to sleep on my left side. If I don’t, I enjoy an endless one-cat production called Cat Pawing On Blanket: You’ll Think I’ll Eventually Stop, But I Won’t.

We have tried closing the bedroom door, but Jason and I only lasted 14 minutes before the unceasing door pounding/caterwauling/wood scratching nearly led us to turn on each other.

I have pushed Abby off the bed, heaving a great big sigh of relief as I listen to the diminishing tapping sounds of her “exit,” only to immediately hear her turn around and jump back up.

This morning, I finally ordered some replacement diffusers. Because I’m ready to admit they really work.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

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