Sammy notes

 I can't believe I'm going to tell ya'll this story. When I first moved to Los Angeles, I worked at the Los Angeles Daily News. I wanted desperately to be an ace reporter, but instead I was pulling down a cool $7.15 an hour (part-time!) writing press releases in the PR department. Oh, the largesse. (I did eventually migrate to the newsroom and I even got a front-page Travel section story once. But prior to that, I was a Public Relations hack.) I was REALLY BAD at Public Relations. Not because I don't like the public or their relations, but because I was young and inexperienced and THERE ARE A LOT OF CRAZY PEOPLE IN LOS ANGELES. And one thing about the newspaper industry is that it is a fertile breeding ground for nuts. Every two-bit fruitcake with access to any form of correspondence will eventually contact the local newspaper. And you know who gets the craziest ones? The low girl on the totem pole. And that was me. About three months after I had started working at the ...

 So, finally, FINALLY, I finished my mismatched crazy green scarf. You can read about the beginning of this yarny wonder right here. Since my little Roy has gotten so skinny in his old age he gets cold easily and to keep warm, he prefers to be held all the time. Sometimes I zip him up in my hoodie and just carry him around. I'm pretty sure this will not be information I give immediately to the next potentially dateable man I meet, but at least I don't have a possum in my bra. So when it came time to take the picture I had a little furry addition: Roy gets his snuggle on. He's the gangsta of love. Finishing up this scarf reminded me of the HUGE KNITTING EPIPHANY I had while making this (very heavy and thick ... and did I mention HEAVY?) piece of work. It was about a month ago, and Drew and I were on the phone chitchatting as we tend to do on Saturday mornings. I was telling him I had to go soon, take a shower and get ready for Saturday Stitch 'n Bitch and he asked me wha...

Hi all. Today I want to talk about Aliexpress. I mostly buy on Amazon, but sometimes I also look at Aliexpress. Some things can be cheaper there. There are a number of reasons for this, but that is not what I want to talk about. I want to share how I buy from Aliexpress for the lowest prices. At one point I learned that prices can change quite a bit. I'm talking about the same product from the same seller. What this has to do with I don't know. It's clear that during a sale, prices go down. But as it turns out, they can also go down on other days. In order not to miss such days I use one site that helps me with this. It's Pricearchive.org. I usually look at the price history on the chart and see if the price has gone down to a certain level. Then I set up price drop email alert. And when it comes to me, I vist Aliexpress and buy. You can usually tell from the chart how long to wait for the price to drop. I, of course, take that into account and make predictions. That...

I am a nurse, and I frequently find out more than I want to about some people. Some is required by the job. “Excuse me, I thought you said you have lost a ‘what’ ‘where’.” Honestly, you think that might be something I have only had to say once, but it unfortunately is not true. Now, I am willing to say anything in general terms. For example, masturbation. Everyone does it, and the people who vehemently deny it are most likely lying. But as far as how, when, that is my business.

The muppet scarf got bound off and ends woven in and now it sits happily wrapped around a nice bottle of champagne in hopes that Karman will associate that fuzzball with bubbly drunkenness. Yum! Obviously, upon finishing The Muppet I should have returned immediately to the still half-completed fuzzyfoot which taunts me each day with its partial existence. Obviously, I started a whole new project. This project has no pattern, no gift recipient in mind, and no real purpose at all ... other than the sheer joy of knitting it. I LOVE YOU, KNITTING! You make me happy. You know I'm crazy and you love me back anyway, with your 100% wool goodness, with your silly crazy stitches, with your never-ending world of possibility. I know you aren't even disappointed in me for stalling mid-fuzzyfoot. You're just happy to live in a moth-free ziploc bag and wait for me. Love you! Yesterday morning I was running out the door to catch the bus and needed a project STAT! I reached into the stash (...

Behold the creepy results from less than 5 minutes of Jason brushing short-haired Sunny: Largest fur tumbleweed in the world or a cute, headless kitten? Here’s Sunny basking on the warm countertop and begging for attention. Pet my giant fluffy belly. I command you. Fool, you are too late! I have now perished and am stricken with Back Paw Rigor Mortis.

Top Ten Tuesday Things: 1) I have been listening to "The Emancipation of Mimi" obsessively for like two weeks straight. I need an intervention. This is even worse than my ghetto slang obsession. Fo reals. I can't sleep at night when you are on my mind Bobby Womack's on the radio Singing to me ... 'If you think you're lonely now' Wait a minute, this is too deep, too deep I gotta change the station So I turn the dial, trying to catch a break And then I hear Babyface ... I only think of you... 2) But just the same, I hope Mariah wins some stuff tomorrow night at the Grammy Awards. I know ya'll. I know she's probably buckwild crazy, the kind of crazy that wears a bra on her head. But that is why I love her. And for people who say she's fat? PUT A SNICKERS WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE. 3) Speaking of fat. We're leaving for Paris in like, what? Six weeks? And you know... Three of these kids belong together, three of these kids are kind of the sa...

Scientists have carefully studied the effects of heat on occupants of teetiny post-war era homes with poor air circulation and concluded that said occupants are still sweltering and have reached a level of desperation heretofore unknown. In preparation for another stifling Valley evening, I misted some washcloths and refrigerated them yesterday morning so when I came home last night to Dante's Seventh Circle of Residential Hell, I did some minor cooling. You may wonder why I didn't just wet the washcloths like a normal human. Well, I'll tell you. Some of the residents here at Chez Swelter are just delicate and particular. Frankie, passed out on the kitty tree. As ya'll can imagine, there is no knitting happening here at Chez Sweaty. Just higher than usual amounts of whine and wine. The A/C repairman is allegedly coming today between 9 a.m. and noon. I have already showered and dressed up in as cute as clothes as one can tolerate in this heat, and I have some sweet tea w...

Yesterday I took the subway to work instead of the bus, since I was at the you-know-where in the a.m. and the subway was closer. I have never knit on the Red Line before, because I stopped taking the subway at the same time I learned to knit. And by the way, thank goodness there is already an accomplished subway knitter out there representin' for knit girls, because in Los Angeles? On the Red Line? People stare. I couldn't have gotten more strange looks if I had been performing an alien autopsy right there in the seat. Notice that did not stop me from either A) knitting or B) taking pictures. Screw all ya'll subway staring people! I am not afraid to knit in public! But my hat? So, so sad. Notice in the photo it appears to be a normal-sized hat for a normal-shaped head. PHOTOS LIE. But I didn't frog it because, frankly, I have no idea how to fix it. Had I ripped out all my stitches, I would merely have knit it back into the same bubble-sized mess, so I just kept going. I...